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Ode To Changeover Day : Home Hub Poem

This page was originally part of the Jarviser Home Hubs Files. They are now housed here at FileSaveAs to help users of the BT Home Hub.

John (contributor JLS on at the
Home Hub Forum) asked for advice to prepare for “Changeover Day” when
his new hub and BT broadband would arrive. As things didn’t go quite to
schedule he had time to pen this Ode, which he has allowed me to publish.
Enjoy!

 

Ode to Changeover Day

The ‘dark side of the moon’ is
lonely

Away from the web and my links

I’ve ordered BT Broadband

Was that man mad, I am hearing you think.

Well Changeover day dawned clear & bright

And as ever I was up with lark

Would the man in the van appear early,

Or would he not come until dark

No matter, I knew I was ready

I’d file cleaned until I was numb

Now all that was left for me

Was to sit around on my bum

The morning passed Oh so slowly

The missus went out shopping alone

That’s always a dangerous business.

Me, I just sat by the phone

The man in the van came about One

I signed for the box with a flourish

and then …. went back to my lunch

for these things ought not to be hurried

The bits were all there, and the manuals

I also had notes from the Forum

I had cleared a big space on the desk

No Panic, just a little decorum

There were plenty of wires and connectors

The sockets were easy to find

Which perhaps itself was a blessing

Just in case I was colour blind.

I plugged it all in and waited

The ‘power’ and ‘wireless’ lights turned
green

The Broadband light however did not,

It went Orange and Red in between

The book stated this was OK

The changeover may take until ‘Eight’

So I left it, mowed the lawn and at Six

I sat down with a beer and ate

At eight I was ready, I was sat there

Waiting for the last bloody light

By Nine I was getting frustrated

And thought, ‘What is this load of sh***’

I rang the nice lady in Scotland

Or wherever she was, I don’t know

She said it may take until midnight

To get the darn thing to go

Arh, Not eight then, as in the book, I asked her.

‘Oh, No the book’s wrong’ she said

I said £ “That’s It young lady”

I am off to my bed

‘Leave everything switched on’ she advised me

‘I am sure ‘twill be done very soon’

I trudged slowly out of my study

And gazed wistfully up at the moon

Next morning I was again very eager

Up at six-thirty once more

Brewed me a big cup of ‘builders’

But my heart sank as I opened the door.

The lights were exactly as ‘last night’

‘Bugger!’ I said, getting ‘shirty’

I’ll ring them and find out what’s happening

The message said ‘we open at Seven Thirty’.

At seven thirty-two I re-dialled

Another Scottish lady replied

‘The engineers don’t start just yet sweetie’

But we’ll call you when they arise.

Well, she did at around eight thirty

And low and behold £ Nothing new

The blighters hadn’t done it on Thursday

As the contract promised they’d do

‘It will be done sometime on Friday’

Was about all that she said

No estimate of when, and / or how

Both the light and my anger were RED.

I went off out in the morning

To stop the bad pain in my head

But when I got back home at lunchtime

Yes, The light was still bloody red.

I knew then it wouldn’t get better

Sod’s Law had come into play

So I started to pen this epistle

As a way of passing the day

Each hour I checked it again

In the hope that all would be right

I just know they will leave early on Fridays

Rather than work on through the night

Is it too much to ask to do what they said

If they did, their business would thrive

God this is getting almost nearly as bad

As those other clowns down at T5

At Three o’clock I called again,

And asked for the supervisor

Your ahead of me now, because the reply of course

Was that he was no more the wiser

He told me my changeover was deferred to today

I told him, ‘Not at my choice’

His excuse was all waffle, with nothing concrete

‘It’s down to a lack of resource’

Once again he explained, the work was in hand

To complete by eight pm or midnight,

By then I’ll be pissed, and not give a darn.

I’m getting fed up with this s*****

Its four-thirty now and something is stirring

The Broadband light is orange and flashing

But the book clearly states this can go on for a day

That would be one hell of a bashing

It’s almost Six o’clock, the beers are chilled

And the broadband light is still blinking

Have they all pushed off home and left it like this

I suspect ‘Sod him’ is what they are thinking

Another hour gone by and nothing has changed

It’s all turned to ‘Rats’- you know what

Another beer’s what I need, so off I will go

And stuff the whole bloody lot.

Oh, Wait, What is this? Its just turned seven

And there is green light at the end of the tunnel.

‘Bloody Hell it works’ is the cry.

Or I am just getting fuddled.

No, it is really true, by Golly it’s true

I am back in touch with the world

That must call for a pint, maybe more I think

Whilst I check that everything works

Thanks for all the advice that you folks have given

It really helped me to understand,

Whilst it’s not been plain sailing, thanks to BT

I can now get on as I planned.

There is lots to check out and set-up to do

But at least I can now make a start

With e-mail and laptops top of the list

And print servers ….. well maybe later !!!

 

© JLS 2008 and Filesaveas Home Hub Forum

 

Page created by "Jarviser" & hosted by FileSaveAs. See the Jarviser Home Hub Index Page

If you’ve found the content of this page of use, and want to say thanks, Jarviser’s charity of choice is Great Ormond Street Hospital. Please visit their site to make a donation

Got a question about the BT Home Hub? Please ask in the FileSaveAs Home Hub Forum

Disclaimer: Content on this page was not originated by FileSaveAs, and is hosted ‘as-is’ as a service to Home Hub users. FileSaveAs accepts no responsibility for the content on this page. Visitors use information on this page at their own risk. Contents may not be reproduced without permission. Original copyright for content on this page rests with Jarviser unless otherwise stated. FileSaveAs Site Terms apply.

  

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